Dear Newcastle United

March 23, 2007 at 10:31 am | Posted in Ed Geth, Football | 3 Comments

Buy some better defenders. Live the dream of not getting your ass kicked by teams that you should be defeating. You have unveiled two new kits since last fall. In the meantime you have been knocked out of every cup competition, you spent the first third of the season clawing out of the relegation zone, and you have failed to do what it takes to put yourselves in a position to qualify for merit based cups next season.

I like neat new clothes. But I have to wonder if maybe there is a focus issue. There have been several occasions in which I have taken an interest in banners, shirts, scarves, shot glasses, etc. adorned with the Newcastle crest. But then some miserable game like the home draw against Charlton last October, or god forbid the slaughter at home against Premiership hopeful Birmingham in the FA Cup in January makes me want to spend my money on something that incites a little more hope for a team I like, like some Charlotte Bobcats barstool.

I know I’ve only been a fan for a short while. But I have high standards. The teams I root for win. In the past two years I have seen my teams win a Stanley Cup, a Superbowl, and a National Championship. And at least one of those teams hasn’t made a signifigant change to their uniform in decades. So get with the program. Shore up your backside and then maybe I’ll look into that neat looking third kit that you unveiled last fall. A lot of Carolina blue in that one.



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  1. It could be worse…you could support Sp*rs…

    Seriously though…go ahead and pick another team if you are not willing to wait out the cycle of the the top 4. Could be a long time before the Magpies win anything.

  2. I’m loyal. I’m sure things will get better. It just seems kinda ridiculously silly to be unveiling a new kit within a few weeks of getting eliminated from the UEFA Cup and getting beat up by Charlton of all teams. Makes me wonder what’s more important to the management. I picked the magpies, and I will stick with the magpies.

  3. Let there be no doubt that management gives f*ck all. The supporters have been turning out for shite football for years…..Freddy Shephard is a sexist c*nt.

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